It's a Monday morning, Hima, is sitting on her desk with some work but her mind is wandering to a time during last month when she took a trip to Goa with her friends. The sunrise, sunset, long hours of relaxing on the beach, the pleasant air, Hima could imagine it all in the blink of an eye like all of it happened just yesterday.
Rahul, Hima's colleague is sitting right next to her with his calendar opened on his laptop and counting days to his upcoming trip to Shimla. He is imagining himself buried in snow, snuggling up in his hotel room away from all these excel sheets.
Are you like Hima or Rahul?
At some point in your life, you must have found yourself being drifted away from the moment. So, why does that happen?
- Reality is too damn hard: When the present life is too stressful in terms of work-life, relationship and it is difficult to catch a breath for yourself, here is when you will experience your mind wandering to the dreams of a pleasant vacation or to a time where life was stress-free.
- Absent in the moment: Quoting Andy from the last season of the popular TV show The Office "I wish there was a way to know that you're in the good old days before you've left them". When we live a life, not being present in the current moment, not feeling the essence of every experience possible, it is but obvious that we will constantly think about past moments or things we wish we could've done.
- Habitual: At times, drifting away from reality can be such a natural process that every time you face a challenge or are just bored, your mind subconsciously begins planning the future or pulls out a memory of the past.
At any given moment of time, you can't change your past or predict your future. The only thing that is in your hands is the present moment. The present, however overwhelming it might be, is trying to teach you something. When things are not going my way, I always try to remember this quote "Instead of asking why this is happening to me, ask, what is this going to teach me?." Life is a rollercoaster of pleasant and unpleasant moments, and if it weren't for these overwhelming, sad, hopeless, frustrating, painful moments, the pleasant moments would not be experienced with much joy. In my personal opinion, difficult times teach you more about who you are and what kind of goals matter to you than happy moments of your life. If you are stuck in a series of unhappy life moments, try asking yourself the question of 'What is in the situation that I can control?', 'How can I make the best of the moment?'. The Buddhist technique of mindfulness is often prescribed by the psychotherapeutic community as a way to advocate living in the present. Mindfulness is a technique that helps you absorb every moment, without living a life just as a passing motion. If you find yourself drifting away, try to bring back your focus to the present by noticing your breathing pattern, inhale deeply and exhale slowly. You can also try to notice the smallest things about your own surroundings like the shape of the tree, the colour of the flower, the architecture of a building etc to bring your focus back to the present.
At times, imaging a happy memory of your past can help you endure your present. Visualization of a better future and a stronger self is also a technique often incorporated in the therapy setting. Imagination is a powerful cognitive tool, it helps you become more creative and enhances your contextual intelligence. However, in an everyday scenario, being absent from your present, be it enjoyable or painful moments, may not have a positive impact on your wellbeing.
