Hard work: Does it always pay off? Heaven's Reward Fallacy

In March 2020, I left a high paying job at a premier school on the pretext furthering my education in the field of Psychology. As Coronavirus hit the world, countries, especially educational institutes had to make some crucial policy level decisions for conducting large scale competitive exams. 

The degree that I wanted to pursue also required us to sit through a national level competitive exam. So, all college postponed their exam dates and I saw this opportunity as a blessing in disguise. I judiciously used my time and energy for preparation. Between March to August, that's six months, I studied for 7-8 hours every day. My days would start with practising previous year question papers and end with revising each and every concept known to the subject of psychology. Even my fantasies were filled with starting a new chapter of life sitting at the desk of my dream college. Studying all the time especially during the pandemic where you cannot go out, meet people becomes even more difficult. You are essentially just sitting in one room of your house, going out of that room for food, water and on some days for a walk. 

After almost 5 months, gradually, colleges began conducting competitive exams using remote testing services. I was happy to get done with the difficult part and begin a life I had been dreaming about. When the exams finally began happening, I truly believed that I deserve a seat at one of the premier institutes because I put in the hard work. In my mind, I had thoughts like "I, of all the people, deserve this opportunity because I have done nothing else except study for these exams", "I have gone beyond my personal limits to study for this exam, for that one seat at a premier institute- thus I deserve it, my hard work will pay off".

Photo by Luis Villasmil on Unsplash

Things did not pan out the way I imagined. After 2 months of struggle, giving different exams for different colleges, I did not get through the college I wanted to go. I missed the seat for the general category by just a few marks. The reality of the incident did not fit well with me. It didn't make sense as I always thought that if I put in enough hard work the universe will reward me for it. I was brought up with the understanding that if you really want something, work hard for it. For the very first time in my life, I felt directionless. I have always been a hard-working person and life has rewarded me in some way or the other.

After a few devastating days filled with existential questions - I read about Heaven's Reward Fallacy.

Heaven's Reward Fallacy is an erroneous way of thinking wherein the person believes that s/he should always behave in the "right" way if they want any positive experiences in their life - be it love from others, success etc. It is a belief which makes you think that- "If I do all the great things in the world, the universe will reward me", "If I put in the hard work, a life force, a universe will pay me".

It is this thinking pattern that I fell prey to and a lot of you who might end up reading this article may have. I strongly believed that because I am putting in the hard work, the universe will reward me by providing me with a seat at a premier university. If you really think about it, a lot of hard-working people that you know in your life, are only pushing themselves because of the same belief. Who told you that your hard work will be paid off? Is the Universe keeping a scorebook for all the sacrifices, hardships you've made? - this is the point where the realization hit me. I understood that if I kept thinking this way, it is a recipe for disaster. My hard work should not be driven by the reward but also about what I achieve along the way. The universe does have plenty of good things in store for me but I need to unlearn the fact that just because I have put in a certain amount hard work, there would be something miraculous waiting for me. Life is not always fair. It will not always turn out to be like a fairytale. At the end of the day, I think it is only by hitting bumpy roads that you are forced to think about life, your goals and the direction you want to take.

Learnings

I will put in Hard Work to grow, to learn, to achieve better and most importantly to become a better version of myself. 

Mental Health Professionals in India

Mental health concerns are on the rise as the pandemic hits the world. In such unprecedented times, it becomes important to understand the kind of mental health services available in India and how to access them.

Image by Gordon Johnson from Pixabay 

Navigating the right resources for mental health can be difficult amidst stigma, misinformation aboutthese services in India. Let's understand which professional will benefit you using an example -

Amrita is a 23-year-old girl. She has a degree in economics and a well to do the job in the field. After the lockdown was imposed, she like everyone else adapted to working from home. Soon after she lost her job as her company could no longer afford to pay her. She was devasted but determined to find a new job to support herself. Due to changed circumstances, she could not go out to meet her friends and family. She felt lonely. Whenever she opened LinkedIn, she saw all her batchmates posting about their flourishing job roles and going on Instagram and seeing friends living with their family made her feel worse. Soon she started feeling as if it was her fault that she lost the job. She felt as if she is incapable of doing anything and stopped applying for jobs. She didn't feel like eating and her sleep cycle was disturbed as well. She cut off from most of her friends & felt hopeless about the future.

[Name & details mentioned in the above case study are fictional and only for educational purposes]

Now let's see how different mental health professionals will approach her problems - 

Psychologist

Psychologists are trained to provide a safe, judgement-free, confidential environment for the client to express their feelings. Once the client has expressed their concerns the psychologist will attempt to understand the reasons why the client is experiencing blocks in their functioning through their specific psychological orientation. The origins of Amrita's feelings like loneliness will be traced through a joint effort by both client and the psychologist. For instance- Maybe Amrita is feeling lonely because of the lockdown and a lack of social contact, maybe she feels a need to compare herself to her peers because her mother always used compare Amrita to her peers, she has only learnt to appreciate her success by measuring them to her peer's successes. These hypotheses will be tested out with the client and a range of empirically researched techniques will be used by the psychologist to help out Amrita. Validating her feelings, understanding the roots of her need for comparison, establishing a routine which incorporates regular video calls with her family members are some of the primary techniques which may be used to improve her mood. 

All psychologists have a Masters degree in Psychology in India as a minimum criterion for practice. A psychologist typically spends 50 mins per week with the client understanding their history, behaviours, emotions, thought process and use research-based scientific methods to improve the functioning of their client.

Psychiatrist

A psychiatrist will also provide a safe space to Amrita to express her self. An attempt will be made to understand the problems being faced by her and try to gauge whether these fit into the criteria of a particular disorder. A detailed past history of current symptoms and a family history of both psychiatric and medical illnesses would be taken in order to arrive at a provisional (temporary) diagnosis. Based on the diagnosis & a medical history of the client, medication will be provided by the doctor. Psychiatric medication impacts the neurochemical levels of the brain. In the case presented above, if the Psychiatrist comes to the conclusion that Amrita is going through an episode of depression, they might prescribe her with Anti-depressants. From a psychopharmacological perspective, one reason for depression is low levels of Serotonin Neurotransmitter. Anti-Depressants will impact the levels of serotonin in her brain thereby improving her overall functioning. 

A psychiatrist is a medical doctor with an MBBS and a Post Graduate degree in psychiatry. A psychiatrist typically spends around 10-20 mins with their client and meet them bi-weekly/ monthly to check the progress. 

Who should you go to?

An ideal setup would be where a Psychiatrist & Psychologist are working together for the client. However, after the initial intake session, a Psychologist and a Psychiatrist would most likely guide you towards a suitable health care provider. In some circumstances, the client will benefit from psychological services alone and would not need medications but in other cases (for example in disorders like schizophrenia) a regular course of medication is required before a psychological intervention. Enhancing your mental health is a long process. Recovery is never linear. Some medications/ therapeutic interventions will suit you some may not. 

If you still feel confused, ask your Mental Health Professional about their opinion for a suitable course of treatment. Don't hesitate in asking them about their qualification and experience in the field. 

Mental health concerns take time to understand and treat. Please don't lose hope!

Mental Health is as Important as Physical Health

Take the first step!

Disclaimer: The case presented above has only been developed for this topic. The intention of sharing this blog is purely for creating awareness. If you are experiencing any kind of distress, please contact your health care provider.

Should You Really Be Kind To Everyone?

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle

 Decoding the quote 

It is amusing  to see this quote promoting the idea of kindness on the pretext of what the person in front of us ‘might’ be going through. Don’t get me wrong! I am someone who believes that our world needs kindness but it is important to be kind because you want to be kind, be kind because you want positivity in your & everyone else’s life. Don’t let other people’s good/bad situation define your outflow of kindness.

Photo by Mike Erskine on Unsplash

Kindness isn’t situation specific!

If you are going through a negative phase in your life & feel impossible to be kind, it’s okay! It really is okay! 

It is difficult to be kind when your own world seems to be crashing down. Always remember another quote — "It is difficult to pour from an empty cup". You will never be able to truly help somebody with your kindness, if you, yourself are drained of emotional energy. Start by being kind to yourself.

Learn to adopt qualities holistically. Be a kind person!